A Day in My Life
As I entered the living room, I felt drained of energy. Only so much of it left to leave my body for a free fall on the couch. I was just back from work, and the clock was showing 7:30 PM.
Then something changed, an adrenaline rushed through me – as my seven year old son, Tanav, came towards me full of excitement. “It must be because I was home after a long day’s work and he’d been waiting to see me”, I thought.
I couldn’t be more wrong!
He had been waiting for me, but not to see me. He was waiting to have my phone so that he could play on it.
As I handed my iPhone to Tanav, my energy levels plummeted again, to levels lower than before.
Tanav started playing Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. The name says it all – this game to which Tanav is hooked, is full of violence, blood and profanities.
However, I was left with no energy to stop him. Besides, he was left with no reason to talk to or listen to me any more, after having my phone.
Years ago, Subhash Chandra Bose had asked the country’s youth, “Tum Mujhe Khoon Do, Mein Tumhe Aazadi Doonga!” (You give me blood, and I promise you freedom).
It’s payback time now I guess. Our next generation is asking us now in a slightly different way, “Tum Mujhe Phone Do, Mein Tumhe Aazadi Doonga!” (You give me your phone, and I promise you freedom.)
So, I traded my phone for some rest. Deepti, my wife, looked tired too – working at home and managing the house ain’t easy.
As Deepti handed me a cup of tea, I wondered: “Can
this situation be made better somehow?”
FAMILY RITUALS
A wise man has said – “Our days are your life in miniature.”
If that is true, looking at my days tells me there is something terribly wrong in my life. If I let this pattern go on, things will soon go out of control. I will lose a much needed connect with my children. I do need to get into action now to do something about it.
I realized something while trying to steer my way thought this messy situation. We had been very clear in telling children what not to do:
[bctt tweet="Don’t play with the phone. Don’t watch so much TV. Don’t fight. Don’t do this and don’t do that…”]
What we didn’t even know is what should they be doing! And we hadn’t taken the time to figure out. Kids often asked this question, “What should I do now?” I didn’t once have a convincing answer for them.
That’s when I figured that there was one thing all families which bonded well did: Family rituals.
Some fun family rituals, could make our days more fulfilling. Each family member would look forward to this time together. It would even provide a safe environment for family members to share their innermost feelings. And yes, it doesn’t require all the time in the world and so busy working parents could do it too! All one needs is intention.
Recurring things such as: Prayer time, a morning hug, a chat before meals, or even having the dinner together, would all qualify as family rituals.
We’ve started a ritual before dinner time where each member is asked – “What is the best thing that happened today?“
But was it easy?
Hell, No!
Just to bring everybody together at dinner time was an uphill task. It’s only after a lot of perseverance that our family finally embraced it. No one was interested the first time I asked.
Tanav’s response was, “There is nothing good that happened today, Dad! In fact everything was so bad that I can’t remember anything good.”
I tried rephrasing the question, “.. and among all the bad things today, what was the one ‘not-so-bad’ thing?”
But it didn’t help either, “Stop irritating Dad. Can we talk about something else?”
When I asked Mom, she bounced back as if I was ridiculing her life situation. “Nothing good happens in my life at all. Everything is so bad that I don’t want to talk about it, please!”
It’s not easy to start a new family ritual, but it’s so worth it at the end.
THE BEST THING TODAY
Change is hard. But we kept going. Imperfect progress, as Lysa Terkeust calls it.
Yesterday, Sohana, my 3 year old daughter, asked Deepti, “Papa hasn’t asked the, ‘Best Thing Today!'”
Deepti said, “Yes, he hasn’t. Let’s ask Papa and do that now?”
Mom also joined in, “Yes, of course, let’s do that!”
Tanav ordered, “Let’s start from grown-ups today!”
Dad, who is mostly engrossed in NEWS at the time, was okay to switch off the TV. No mean feat that is!
Everyone happily shared a part of their days with everyone else. There were chuckles and laughs which will remain in our memories forever.
It takes away the stress from our minds each time we do this little ritual. It gives us a reason to switch off the idiot box. It lets our minds to focus on what’s working in our lives and being grateful for it rather than the usual my life sucks syndrome.
Most importantly, it drives us towards a stronger family bond, which means the world to all of us!
So, now I want to hear from you. What are your family rituals? If you liked this post, then show the love by sharing your comments and likes below.
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