Have you ever found yourself feeling bored and uncertain about the direction of your life? When you are as clueless about the path to take as you are about the destination you wish to reach?
It is December of 2018, and the scene at home is chaotic. My ten-year-old son, Tanav, is repeatedly asking, “What should I do?” His mother, Deepti, attempted to suggest activities, but her words seemed to fall on deaf ears. Tanav’s response was always a resounding “No!” followed by the same set of questions:
“What should I do?”
“What should I do?”
“What should I do?”
This cycle escalated, with Deepti growing frustrated while Tanav is on a roll, well literally, on the floor.
This situation often spirals out of control, as these questions have become a regular occurrence in our household.
No matter what suggestions we offer, they were met with indifference. I often wondered why this was the case, but I never found a satisfactory answer. Nevertheless, I persisted in my search. They say, “What you seek is seeking you!” and I eventually stumbled upon an unexpected revelation.
Another morning a few days later, I have a realization that my own situation is no better than Tanav’s.
After all, I’m halfway through their career, and sill unsure of where I am headed. Deep within I, too, am shouting the same questions internally:
“What should I do?”
“What should I do?”
“What should I do?”
Nor ears can hear nor tongue can tell, the tortures of that inward Hell
The worst part was that no one could hear my silent cries for guidance. I sought advice from friends, but each suggestion left me infuriated, echoing the same pattern as my son: “No!” “No!” “No!” The relentless cycle of questions continued unabated.
Every morning felt purposeless, and I struggled to find motivation to dress for work. The monotony of my days haunted me to the point where I couldn’t distinguish between yesterday and today.
During one such morning, as I sipped my tea, I overheard my mother humming a tune in the kitchen. She had a habit of singing long-lost phrases while working:
“Kiya karo kuch kiya karo udhaed kae bhi siya karo.”
which translates into
“Do something. Anything. Even if it means to unstitch a cloth only to stitch it again.”
Initially, I didn’t pay much attention to those words, but they left a lasting impact on me.
That evening, I made a decision. I decided to run for the Executive Committee elections at our Toastmasters club—an endeavor that lay beyond my comfort zone, but still an achievable goal. It provided me with a glimmer of hope and happiness.
I pondered over why I would be the right person for the job and how I could serve the members. I prepared a speech and took action. I had a purpose and diligently worked towards it.
After the election process concluded, I achieved my goal of becoming a part of the Executive Committee as the VP-Education. Returning home, I shared the news with my loved ones, and they cheered in celebration.
Later, my wife, Dinky, asked me a poignant question, “Are you happy?”
I replied, “Yes, I’m happy to be the VP-Education, but I was even happier when I made the decision to pursue it.”
Tony Robbin’s has said, It’s in moments of decision that destiny is shaped.
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you felt unsure of what to do?
During such times, it is crucial to recognize that, no matter how well-intentioned the suggestions from others may be—whether it’s your boss, spouse, or friend—you will never find true happiness in that.
Even if the suggestion is well-intentioned
Even if the suggestion is right.
Even if it promises excitement.
“Why?” you may ask.
Simply because it wasn’t your decision. It was theirs!
Instead, just decide, commit, believe, and act. Do something. Anything. Eventually, you will discover your life’s purpose.
Since that moment, one thing has led to another and I have accomplished much more. I have served as the President, Sergeant at Arms, Area Director, and even Division Director at Toastmasters. At work, I have transitioned into a role that aligns with my passions.
When I set a goal, I treat it as my baby and pour my love into it.
As for real babies, they have achieved remarkable things too since then. They have won speech contests, participated in debates, excelled academically, and even published a book.
Children don’t do what you ask them to do; they do what you do.
However, the question still arises occasionally. Just as I finished writing this speech, my daughter Sohana asked me, “What should I do, Papa?” Setting aside my laptop, I replied, “Well, I have decided to be the test speaker at Estoile, the Speech evaluations contest of 6 clubs, maybe you can decide on something to do too!”
To my surprise, Sohana quickly got dressed, putting on her hat and goggles, ready to go to the library.
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