[5-Bullet Tuesday] When Was The Last Time You Did Something For The First Time?

Hi All,

Here’s your weekly dose of “5-Bullet Tuesday”, list of things I’m enjoying or pondering.

Where I’m visiting-

Last week, some colleagues were over from London. They were here on a flying visit but we wanted to show them around at least a bit. So, on Wednesday evening, we took them to visit the Akshardham temple. If you have visitors from abroad, you must take them to such a place, to give them a taste of the rich past of India not only in terms of spirituality, but also art, culture and science. At the temple, there are quite a lot of things to do: an exhibition which takes you through the life and times of Swaminarayan, in the form of story and life sized robotic models. 

They also show a movie, which we skipped due to paucity of time. Then, there is this Cultural boat ride, Anskruti Darshan, which was like sailing through thousands of years of rich Indian history – We saw the Vedic era, the oldest university and the doctor’s prowess in surgery a thousand years ago! This 12 minute boat ride presents our contributions to the world and will make every Indian feel proud.

Last but not least was the Multimedia Water Show, which was breathtaking. However, since it was an extremely chilly winter evening, it was pretty hard to sit through the entire show. Thankfully, there was coffee being sold which made it slightly better. If you plan to go in this weather, make sure you are carrying enough woolens.

What I’m eating-

After the visit to the temple, we went to Pandara Road to eat at the famous Gulati restaurant. However, I was surprised that even on a weekday, Gulati had so many guests waiting outside, and there was a waiting for one hour. 

Truth be told, I’ve never been able to make it to Gulati although I’m a thorough Delhi’ite, and like always, we had to settle for the nearby Pindi Restaurant, which isn’t bad either, just that it’s famous as a second choice after Gulati.

Finally, we headed to Connought Place and that’s where we all tried something new for the first time in our life – the newly invented Fire Paan. That was quite an audacious move of the week. The experience was worth it. Watch this video to see for yourself.

Cartoon I’m loving-

This one’s something all the writers and wannabe writers like me (-: would be able to relate with. Found it pretty hilarious because I do often get to hung up on words and phrases. So much so that I remember people by their most used words or phrases. 

Quote I’m pondering-

An Anecdote I loved-

One of my mentors, explained it best when I told him that I sometimes feel like I’m not being valued enough in our club especially by some of the younger lot. 

He said, “Mohit, I go to a swimming pool near my house. I go there because I like swimming! It keeps me healthy. However, the owner of this pool is a bad-mouthed person. He quarrels at the drop of a hat. As a result, many people have stopped coming to this swimming pool. But I still go to this swimming pool because I like swimming! It keeps me healthy. The water is clean too. I just avoid interactions with the owner. That’s it. Stay focused on your Why, Mohit!” 

It is extremely important, as it keeps me going when things get messy and tough. It’s during these difficult times, when most people give up on their goals. Keeping our why in front of us helps us go past this phase to achieve our goals.                    


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[5-Bullet Tuesday] Be smart with your time, it’s limited!

Hi All,

Here’s your weekly dose of “5-Bullet Tuesday”, list of things I’m enjoying or pondering.

Movie I watched-

The examinations fever is on these days, and more than the children, it’s the parents who seem anxious. The dialogues commonly heard in households these days are, “He doesn’t sit down to study!”, “ She is distracted and doesn’t focus.” and so on. 

My wife went on the extent of saying that, “He doesn’t give me his 100%”, which is when we got into an argument when I asked her why was she making it her problem, when it should be the child’s.

Amidst all this chaos, I saw this movie called Rough Book, on Tata Sky’s Mumbai Film Festival channel. This movie is about the turnaround story of a mediocre class of XIIth graders. The change happens when a new teacher, Santoshi, joins the school. She ignites in them a spark to learn, which changes their attitude, She focuses less on marks and more on getting the fundamentals right, even if it means going back to the syllabus of class X and XI. She is empathetic and seeks to understand the students first before expecting them to change. 

Our entire family including my six year old daughter and eleven year old son, watched it together from beginning till end. 

Quote I’m pondering-

Time is what we want most, but what we use worst. – William Penn

The news I heard-

As I was getting ready on Sunday, I overheard the TV news, “…Massive fire breaks out in Delhi… 35 people feared dead…Many being rushed to hospitals for treatment…”

My heart went out for the people who had died on the wee hours of the morning, while they were still asleep. It also was a reminder that life is very temporary. “Now” is all we really have, and yet many of us waste time complaining, gossiping or mindless activities. Time is a non-renewable resource and before it’s too late, we must use it judiciously – making memories with the people we love and doing the work that we enjoy. 

The poem I loved-

This poem, “Otherwise” by Jane Kenyon brings the message home poignantly:

I got out of bed

on two strong legs.

It might have been

otherwise. I ate

cereal, sweet

milk, ripe, flawless

peach. It might

have been otherwise.

I took the dog uphill

to the birch wood.

All morning I did

the work I love.

At noon I lay down

with my mate. It might

have been otherwise.

We ate dinner together

at a table with silver

candlesticks. It might

have been otherwise.

I slept in a bed

in a room with paintings

on the walls, and

planned another day

just like this day.

But one day, I know,

it will be otherwise.

The concept I’m applying-

If I recall Eisenhower’s 2 x 2 time management matrix, I’ve been noticing myself drifting towards the Urgent and Important box and thus getting busier than ever! Got to get my other boxes right especially the Important, Not Urgent one, which indeed requires some Planning. Use this matrix to understand which quadrant are you spending most of your time in and act now to use your time smartly. I’m also on it. 

                      


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Five Minute Journal: Do You Believe in Magic?


Quote of the day:

[bctt tweet= “Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it. – ROALD DAHL” username=”mohitsawhney”]


(START OF THE DAY)

I am grateful for…

  1. ..everything that sowed in me, the seed of being of service to others, and doing the right things. Rest of it may appear like magic, but in reality, it is nothing but natural principle. If we do good, the results can only be good.
  2. ..having a life that is rich with things and people I love. There is so much to look forward to every single moment, I feel blessed.
  3. ..being on the path to stoicism, and having tasted the contentment that comes with it. Bliss.

What would make today great?

  1. List down all overdue tasks and get them back on track.
  2. Write a draft version of my weekly blog, “5 Bullet Tuesday”.
  3. Celebrate accomplishments of the week and convert the challenges into opportunities. Yes you can.
Daily affirmations. I am … comfortable in my own skin.
 
Amazing things that happened today…
  1. It’s said that “what goes around comes around”, and today was another day when quite a lot came around. In more ways than one. It’s important to go around doing the right things
  2. I loved hearing this quote from the book, The Trillion Dollar  Coach, in an interview with one of the authors, Alan Eagle. The book is about the life of Bill Campbell who worked for companies like Apple and Google, for free. His famous dialogue was, “I don’t take money, I don’t take stocks. And, I don’t take shit!”
  3. Was able to get a lot more done using the principle, “You don’t have to be great, to serve. But you have to serve, to be great!” This shifts the focus back on serving and helping and touching other’s lives, rather than doing it all for oneself. 
(BEFORE HITTING THE BED)
How could I have made today better?
  • Got lured into checking the phone in the living room, every time there was a notification. Sad, I wasted the time I could have spent with my loved ones. Could have kept the phone away, in the fridge may be. Digital Minimalism, here I come…
  • If I recall the 2 x 2 time management matrix, apparently I’m drifting towards the urgent and important, and hence getting busier than ever (Do). Got to get my other boxes right especially the “Important, Not Urgent” one, which indeed requires some planning.

  • More to do towards becoming a Clock builder rather than a Time teller. This week was about building the systems which continue to work, even when us human’s feel lethargic (and the winter chill these days is just adding to it..). But got a road to cover in building systems to prevent the balls that are getting dropped these days. (Car break down today was an indicator!)

[5-Bullet Tuesday] How Are Your Magic Baskets?

Hi All,

Here’s your weekly dose of “5-Bullet Tuesday”, list of things I’m enjoying or pondering.

 The story I loved—

I came home the other day, worn out after work. And I saw my wife laughing with our children.

I looked at her and thought, “Wow, what a life she has! How easy and relaxed. On the other hand, my own life, it sucks! Get up early, drive to work, slog the whole day. Day after day after day!”

Then I found a reason to quarrel with my wife. I was something petty, of course.

I now had the opportunity to blurt it out, “I go to work every day, slog the whole day while you, my dear Queen, are relaxing at home!”

That brought tears to her eyes. And then she said, “Look at that basket.

I looked around to see the laundry basket. She added, “You put your clothes in that basket every day, right?

I said, “Yes, so does everybody in the house, so what?”

She continued, “So, after you leave for work. I take out all the clothes from the basket. Then I separate them into different piles.”

I was listening. Trying to make sense of it all.

She then added, “That’s because some clothes lose color and have to be washed in cold water. Then, I spread them out in the Sun and clip them. While the clothes are drying, I look after the other household chores till afternoon.”

I thought she had lost it.

But she went on, “I then go out and check if the clothes have dried. When they do, I remove them from the clips, fold them, iron them and put them back in the respective wardrobes.”

I looked at my wife, and said, “Really, you  do all that?”

She said, “Yes”

By now, I understood what I hadn’t.

I felt small. I was ashamed.

Then, I said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t ever realize it. I always thought all that was done by the magic basket!

I, then, looked around.

I saw many magic baskets,.. which weren’t magic baskets!

Quote I’m pondering —

What I’ve realized –

Our words sometimes can act like punches, not a physical one but a verbal one.

When someone hurts you, keep your defence mechanisms aside, and remember that the person who’s hurting you may be in pain himself.

I hurt my wife and eventually realized that I was doing so because I was myself in so much pain – one that needed to be healed.

A simple checklist that changed my life–

WORKAHOLISM CHECKLIST:

  1. Do you work after 6pm? a. never b. sometimes c. often
  2. Do you work on weekends? a. never b. sometimes c. often
  3. Do you work on vacations? a. never b. sometimes c. often

Give a: 0 point b. 1 point c. 2 points

If you have a total score of 0, congrats! You’re not a workaholic. Your degree of workaholism varies as per your score i.e. the range from 1 to 6, one being the lowest.

Knowing this for me was the first step for me in initiating a set of measures for a better quality of life.

Podcast I’m falling in love with–

LEAD to WIN, by Michael Hyatt.

An example of what I learnt here about overcoming workaholism:

  1. Set boundaries – no work after 6pm, no weekends or vacations.
  2. Develop hobbies and interests outside of work. That’s because often we get so stuck at work that here life revolves around it.
  3. Schedule it on your calendar. “What gets scheduled gets done!

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[5-Bullet Tuesday] Are You A Loser?.. Good!

Hi All,

Here’s your weekly dose of “5-Bullet Tuesday”, list of things I’m enjoying or pondering.

Movie I watched—

We’ll drink together when you get through IIT. Here’s the bottle.” tells the Dad to his son who is already under performance stress and pressure.

The son has written the test well and is very hopeful he will crack it. But his examination roll no. is entered to see the online results, all the screen gives back is, “Better luck next time!”

In case you haven’t guessed which movie that scene is from, that’s from the movie, Chhichhore.

Biggest lesson for me from the movie was that we, as parents, just tell our kids what we will do if they get an A+ or get through an entrance test. It could be a big gift, a dream holiday, PS3 or like in the movie, a session of drinking together for the first time!

However, how often do we simply forget to add what will happen in case the kid doesn’t get a good grade, or gets rejected or fails?

The boy in the movie, Raghav, thinks he is a LOSER. He is unable to cope with this failure and jumps off from the building.

Acronym I loved –

So, the movie Chhichhore left an impression on me long after it ended.

Call it selective attention that after watching the movie, as I was browsing my LinkedIn feed, I saw a friend, Sanjana’s post that triggered a little mindset shift in me about losing and LOSERS.

Here it is for you:

Beside this image, she had added: I am a loser and that’s okay!

I completely agree.  

After all, Successful people are not those who never fail. They are those who do fail but get up stronger every time they fall.

A Paper trick I learnt –

We all know how the habit of daily journaling can makes as ultra-successful. But then, not always can you carry a bulky journal around where ever you go – office, for example, or when you’re travelling!

This video teaches a quick and simple way to make a tiny journal or mini book out of a single slice of A4 sized paper.

This little video came in handy for me on my journey from Jaipur to Delhi by train. I used the IRCTC food menu paper (it has one side blank) to create a mini diary which I used for my weekly goal setting exercise. 

It can be used as an affirmations card, or simply as a fun activity with kids. Check it out here when you have 7 minutes 23 seconds.

Question I loved –

What according to you is the single most important quality that makes successful people successful?

Whenever I ask that question to my audience, I get a plethora of answers ranging from empathy, relationships, learning mindset, resilience and so on.

The answer usually surprises the audience.

According to a survey of top CEOs companies, the single most important trait that makes successful people successful is self-awareness. Self-awareness is “the capacity to monitor and self-regulate one’s internal world.

Now, in a world where we are constantly rushing, panicking and reacting, that’s certainly some food for thought.

Quote I’m pondering —

Hard choices, easy life.

Easy choices, hard life”

 – Jerzy Gregorek

Take a minute to soak that in.

Hard choices are forcing you to act: Take risk. Sacrifice television for studying.

Hard choices are learning how to do something rather than just waiting for someone else to do it for you.

So will you go to the gym today (hard choice) or press snooze for some more sleep (easy choice)? 


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[5-Bullet Tuesday] Do You Know the Devil’s DEADLIEST weapon?

Hi All,

Here’s your weekly dose of “5-Bullet Tuesday”, list of things I’m enjoying or pondering. 

 One Box Any House With Children Must Have—

A “What Should I Do?” Box.

We keep chits inside this box with an idea on each chit.

Kids often get bored and come back with the perennial “What Should I Do?” question. A question which no parent has ever been able to answer to their kid’s satisfaction!

That’s when this mystery box comes to our rescue.

The rule is that every time anyone asks that question, they have to draw a random chit out of the “What Should I Do?” box, and then follow whatever is written on it. It could be, “Read The Wimpy Kid”, “Draw Your Favourite Person’s Sketch”, or “Write on.. If I were a stray animal”.  

Anything creative basically.

During other times, kids are welcome to add new chits with novel ideas. Try to minimize chits like “Play on the phone” or “Watch TV” otherwise it defeats the purpose.

And to be honest, why just children, even I sometimes get a chit out and that gives my confused soul some creative direction.

 

Story I loved hearing –

Devil puts all his weapons for sale. It is a spectacular display on glass cases on a table:

  • A gleaming dagger, labelled JEALOUSY.
  • A sledgehammer, with its label ANGER
  • Bows labelled GREED and WANT
  • Arrows tipped in poison labelled LUST and ENVY

At a little distance is another of the tools from the Devil’s armoury. However, it is not as impressive as the rest of the weapons. It was a wedge of wood.

A visitor was checking out all these tools on display. He noticed that the price of this rather ordinary looking piece of wood was more than the combined price of all the other tools the Devil had!

He got very curious and asked the Devil why was that the case?

The Devil replied, “This one is my favourite. I can always rely on it and it works when all other weapons fail. Above all, unlike others, it doesn’t even look like a weapon, so my victims easily succumb to it.

The visitor looked closely at this tool once again; it had a label under it, that read: DISCOURAGEMENT.

 

A poem I wrote –

If you’re still not convinced about the “What Should I Do?” box, let me tell you that this poem, one of my creative geniuses (well, well, well!), evolved from a little chit from the same box!

Title of the poem: What If I Die Undone?

I spent a lot of time wondering what my real purpose of existence was. Then, a little incident changed my perspective – I accepted myself and my life the way it was.. and found happiness in it!

******************************

 What If I Die Undone?

I believe we’re here for a reason,

but I’m scared each day of every season,

for clock is ticking fast, the baby we held is now our teenage son! 

what if I can’t find it (the reason)

and die undone?

 

I am a writer, no a manager, crap… a painter, husband, papa and son,

all combined into one

but from all of the above, the sole reason for my existence can be none!

what if I can’t find it (the reason)

and die undone?

 

I seek God for an answer

… isn’t seeking God itself the reason?

I meditate: read Gita, Quran, Guru Granth and Bible

I was so close to the answer

but didn’t realize when it took me away from my dear ones

 

I was, after all, praying and reading from winter to fall

paying little attention to anything else

until my little two year old doll 

was hurt on her face.. so badly, hit with a ball

that’s when I realized

 

I needed to come back to life, …my life.

and play the roles, all of them, even if I master none!

I am a writer, a manager, a painter, husband, papa and son

and if I do justice to each of these one

There is no way I will die undone

 

I still believe we’re here for a reason,

and I’m living each day of every season,

playing all my roles well and having fun!

Alas! I found it,

I will not die undone!

******************************

What book I’ve been reading this year–

If there is one book I’d like to recommend which can go for the entire year round for you, it will have to be “The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and Art of Living” by Ryan Holiday.  

It has a page for every calendar day which gradually increases your stoical quotient.

In case you don’t know, a stoic, by definition, is a person who can endure pain or hardship without complaining. Marcus Aurelius and Seneca for example.

 

Quote I’m pondering —

The great German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said this.

Amor – Love; Fati – Fate

Amor Fati is a mindset shift where you not on accept your reality but embrace it. Treating each and every moment – no matter how challenging – as something to be loved, not avoided.

I read this quote in The Daily Stoic itself. It suggested that our obstacles, adversities and fears will become the very fuel for our growth if we imbibe the mindset of Amor Fati.             

 

 


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[5-Bullet Tuesday] Calm is Your Friend

Hi All,

Here’s your weekly dose of “5-Bullet Tuesday”, list of things I’m enjoying or pondering.

What I’m watching —

I chanced upon a video on YouTube and fell in love with the channel. It’s called Tell A Tale, and here is the video that really got me hooked. Since watching this one, I have seen many more of their videos.

Watch it for short, real and emotional stories coming straight from the horse’s mouth. 

What I’m reading –

I’m re-reading Stephen MR Covey’s Speed of Trust and found this quote pretty powerful:

Think about it, and read this book if you haven’t.

What am I looking forward to –

Ta Da. It is that time of the year when we should be planning our goals for the next year, 2020.

I have ordered my diary for 2020. It’s called Unnati I-CAN-I-WILL Success Planner, and I would highly recommend for you to check it out here. I have been using success planner from since 2013 and love it.

It helps me set my yearly goals and break them into monthly/ weekly/ daily ones. I have taken some time to learn that one can’t bank just on the one time new year resolutions.   

What I have learnt –

When making a decision under pressure or emotionally charged situation, think twice. These situations of high emotional arousal (feeling excited, anxious, or upset) are called Hot situations.

Hot situations increase the chance of engaging in risk-taking and sensation-seeking behaviours, with little self-control or consideration of the possible consequences of the actions.

Calm is your friend. So, next time, if you feel like you may be in a Hot situation, take a cold shower or as our elders have told us, have a glass of cold water. Basically, relax and get yourself in a cooler situation before you make a call.

Quote I’m pondering —

“Culture eats Strategy for breakfast!” – Peter Drucker

I heard this at an office training session and figured that it highlights how often we underestimate the power of culture.

If your plans are not working out despite your best efforts, you may want to see how you are doing on building an effective work culture. Because it may be that your best plans or strategies are being savoured by the culture over breakfast!       


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[5-Bullet Tuesday] Hold Fast To Your Dreams

Hi All,

Here’s your weekly dose of “5-Bullet Tuesday”, list of things I’m enjoying or pondering.

What I’m reading –

I am reading Against the Wind the recently released memoir of her life by Mrs Rajni Kumar.

Mrs Kumar, now 96, is the lady who’s been an inspiration for me for many many years. She started the Springdales school, a school with enviable reputation, which has now expanded to a total of four branches including one in Dubai!

Ah, great it is to believe the dream,

As we stand in youth by the starry stream.

But a greater thing is to fight life through,

And say at the end, the dream is true!

(Mrs Kumar ends her book with this quote by American poet Edwin Markham.)

Well, I was not a Springdalian myself but my fascination for the school was such that I’d sometimes even lie telling acquaintances that I was from Springdales instead of my own school which was the adjacent Salwan School. Not that I had anything against my own school, but then I used to spend a lot of time playing with Springdalians and had a natural affinity towards everything Springdalian!

I guess I never really outgrew my fascination (or was it obsession?) and when time came for me to get married, I would dream of getting married to a Springdalian.

That elusive dream of mine, after all, did become a reality and today I’m married to a Springdalian (who I love for many more reasons than just that!) and both my children study at Springdales! Thanks to the point based selection system in Delhi for School admissions, which gives due consideration to the School alumni.

That’s a bit of my own memoir there and in case you didn’t know, here’s the difference between a memoir and an autobiography:

By the way, did you notice, Mrs Kumar’s quote fits so well in my own journey too!

What Movie I watched —

Imagine if you unexpectedly find a bag full of crores of rupees one fine day. What would it do to your principles and values that you have been carrying over the years? 

No one’s watching. Would you pick the bag or leave it and carry on with your life as before? 

If you choose to pick it, what would it do to you, and your relationships with your family?

Chappar Phaad Ke“, is the movie that is a tell tale of all that, with realistic performances by Vinay Pathak and others. Although it is a bit slow, but it’s pretty thrilling and keeps you hooked till the end. All in all, a good, one time, family watch. 

Every time after she’s heard a story or watched a movie, I ask my six year old daughter, Sohana, what the moral of the story was. And, no matter what the story, her answer is always the same, “लालच बुरी बला है” (Greed is bad!).

This time, however, she was right!

Memories I’m Making –

It was John Maxwell who brainwashed me (well, in a good way, of course!) into believing that I can create great memories with my loved ones.   

This Diwali, we as a family agreed to get one family picture clicked that we’ll

forever be proud of. In a world where smartphones click a gazillion pictures a day, we decided to get just one that spoke volumes of our chemistry. 

Everyone put their best foot forward and a day which would have, otherwise, filled itself watching videos of Sis and Bro, exchanging Whatsapp messages, or playing Brawl Stars mindlessly, found itself a purpose. We all nicely dressed and posed well for this picture. 

A picture that will indeed make memories come fresh timelessly. 

If there is one thing I have to tell you, it would be – Don’t wait for memories to happen, get up to create them yourself. 

Because, you and only you can! Read this article to find out how. 

Happy Diwali! 

Quote I’m pondering—

Hold fast to dreams 
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

– Langston Hughes

What I ‘m impressed with–

Festivity is in the air. What if crackers are banned in Delhi, creativity is set ablaze all around. Have you seen chocolates in the shape of rockets, anaars, chakkari and sutli bombs? You name it. 

Risking coining a new term here, cracko-lates. Now would that make me famous?

 


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[5-Bullet Tuesday] You Can Make Them Laugh!

Hi All,

Here’s your weekly dose of “5-Bullet Tuesday”, list of things I’m enjoying or pondering.

Most inspiring resignation I’ve ever read –

Need I say anything more?

My micro learning’s this week –

  • Most powerful word in sales: You! If you’re thinking of the title of your blog post, or your book title, consider including a You.

Example: You can win, by Shiv Khera which continues to sell (at traffic lights) after having already sold over 3.8 million copies in 21 languages!

In fact, almost all my blog posts, including this one, have You in them.

  • Most powerful number when giving a speech: 3. It has worked since times immemorial and continues to be that magic number. Go with three examples to explain a concept, three steps to a process and three key points from a presentation.

Not 2, definitely not 4, just 3.  

  • Quick way to make an audience laugh: Superiority and Surprise. Make them feel superior (which the presenter can do at their own cost by self deprecating) and add novelty by starting with a usual path but then taking an unexpected turn in your speech.
  • One quality of a good communicator: Say the most in least possible words!

Legend has it that Ernest Hemingway was once challenged to tell a story in less than six words. It turned out to be a heartrending mini-classic. Here’s the full story:

“For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”

Youtube video I loved to watch –

I am growing more and more fond of Brene’ Brown. She is a PhD researcher and writer on subjects like shame, vulnerability and empathy.

Here’s an interview of her which I have just finished watching. This is about her quest for true belonging. I was so inspired with her research that I wrote and gave a speech on it at the Humorous Speech Contest at our club this Sunday.

Here’s my script, and yours truly won the second prize! (cheesy line, I know J)

 Quote I’m pondering —

What am I looking forward to –

The best free resource I know for improving your public speaking skills is Craig Valentine’s 52 tips. He is the 1999 World Champion of Public Speaking and if you subscribe, you get a tip each week.

His claim is that one year from now; you would be 3 times the speaker you are today!

I agree. After all, I can feel the difference in myself after having done it once a few years back, and now looking forward to subscribing over again. Would it be another 3 times? I hope.               


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