Family – Page 13 – Management T̶h̶i̶n̶k̶e̶r̶ Linker

Will I Die Undone?

I believe we’re here for a reason,
but I’m scared each day of every season,
for clock is ticking fast, the baby we held is now our teenage son!
what if I can’t find it (the reason)
and die undone?

I am a writer, no a manager, crap… a painter, husband, papa and son,
all combined into one
but from all of the above, the sole reason for my existence can be none!
what if I can’t find it (the reason)
and die undone?

I seek God for an answer
… isn’t seeking God itself the reason?
I meditate: read Gita, Quran, Guru Granth and Bible
I was so close to the answer
but didn’t realize when it took me away from my dear ones

I was, after all, praying and reading from winter to fall
paying little attention to anything else
until my little two year old doll
was hurt on her face.. so badly, hit with a ball
that’s when I realized

I needed to come back to life, …my life.
and play the roles, all of them, even if I master none
I am a writer, a manager, a painter, husband, papa and son
and if I do justice to each of these one
There is no way I will die undone

I still believe we’re here for a reason,
and I’m living each day of every season,
playing all my roles well and having fun!
Alas! I found it,
I will not die undone!

Why You Need to Bring Your Office Home!

“What should be the frequency of this meeting?”

“How about once every six months?”

“No, that’s too less, we do need it at least once in three months.”.

Nothing unusual about that dialogue right?

Not until I tell you that is a conversation between me and my nine year old son, Tanav.

Yes, we do plan and have meetings at home. Just like office. In fact, I just finished a meeting with Tanav, my son (see below an earlier recording)

Office meetings are generally considered a waste of time, too lo..ng and boring. But no matter how much we complain about them, if they’re right way – they help in planning, reviewing progress and resolving issues. In acknowledging people for their work. Meetings are, indeed, an essential for any organization…including the home organization!

Strike the right chord and get insights that are impossible to get otherwise. You will discover a whole new person in your family member!

[bctt tweet=”Don’t live with strangers in the house all your life and call it a family!” username=”mohitsawhney”]

These meetings can take your relationship with your family on the growth trajectory .

Human mind is complex. It has inhibitions. It doesn’t share easily. Not even with people who are close to us! Expecting others to open up in a normal setting, is out of question. We have to book a time, a place and tell the participants (in this case our son or daughter or wife), that you need them there!

..And why just meetings? There is quite a lot of good stuff we need to bring home from office!

Organizations have a set of systems meant to make things happen smoothly and improve.

But home sweet home? Do we have any systems? If you’re like most people, your answer is a No.

In the absence of any system for family to be cohesive, performing and improving, we just rely on God Almighty to take care of our home affairs. But , God only helps those who help themselves!

“I am putting in all the efforts and time in office to earn and save only for the family.”, you might say.

Well, thanks but your family needs “you”. Your time. Now. Not later.

If you don’t give the time now, your connection with your folks is broken… forever!

Now, if you tell me: I really don’t have the time.

Okay, then here’s another tip: Go Lean.

Organizations are shouting about going lean: which means reducing waste. But your family organization? You are the CEO. Or co-CEO or whatever of that, no?

So get your act together and go lean. Here’s what I mean:

No Phone on Weekends. (basically this means using phone as a plain simple phone, that too if it’s absolutely needed!)
No TV on Mondays.
No Facebook App on the Smartphone. And yes, No Whatsapp too!
No Technology in the Bedroom.

You get the idea. Reduce the wasteful activities. That will make time for useful ones.

[bctt tweet=”Oh God! Today, give me the strength to say ‘no’ to things I may do only to regret later. ” username=”mohitsawhney”]

By the way, yours truly has done all of the above. Of course, one by one though.

When I shared the idea of a No Phone Day on Saturdays, it seemed impossible. Everyone resisted. Initial few weeks were tough. The cries and frustrations were all so visible on everyone’s faces. But soon, good things began to happen.

Tanav, my nine year old son, opened his bookshelf after ages! We have played several board games as a family. Not so long ago, he was hooked to Clash of Clans. We had no idea how to get him off!

And the best part was yet to come: Tanav, my son, loved the idea so much that he himself proposed to have Sunday’s too as No Phone Days!

A few months have passed, and Tanav has just recently proposed to have Mondays as No TV Days! Can you beat that!

Today is Day 1 of No TV Day. Excitement abound. Tanav is busy cleaning his study table, and Sohana, my 4 year old daughter, my bookshelf.

It’s going well. We haven’t switched on the TV. Not as yet. It’s not easy but we will face this challenge as a family.

..That my friends is Sawhney Family Organization going Lean. When is Your’s?

If you like this post, then show the love by sharing it with friends and family. The best part of writing a blog is the discussion that follows, so do register your thoughts and views below.

Add Colors To Your Child’s Life

For a child, life is a clean canvas. We are the artists. We add colors: colors which teach them values, manners, creativity, responsibility…and add meaning to their lives!

Here are the 5 colors that I would want to paint on my child’s canvas:

The ‘Priorities’ Color

We must encourage our child to help understand and write down what is most important for him/ her. For example, it could be Family, Health, School, Football, Dance, Travel. Once it is clear, work with your child to create a daily plan so that they can paint the upcoming day with the colors that work best for them i.e. their priorities because ‘Days are our lives in miniature’!

The ‘Seek Help’ Color

There are times in life when the child will feel stuck or trapped in situations. The test he/ she is not prepared for, the bully who troubles him/ her in the bus, or even the color of shoes they want to wear. Tell your child that it’s perfectly okay to seek help when a situation like this comes. Don’t we all get in situations like these?! Help is available and solutions are possible. We just have to tell’em to use the seek help color!

The Gratitude Color

Many of my fellow parents tell me that their child is often worried or scared – scared of going to the washroom alone at night, someone under the bed, worried about grades. I am surprised that they still don’t know that Gratitude is the antidote to fear. This is one color that we must always have in our life.

In the night, before sleep, ask your child to write down the 3 things he/ she is grateful for today. It will take away their fears and make them focused on gratitude. Shift their (and your own) focus from what went wrong to what’s going right.

The Color of ‘Happyness’

Teach your children to be happy – is it as simple as it sounds?! Well, it is, if you teach them to enjoy their own company, if you help them take out time to reflect and be the Director of their own lives rather than being an actor all the time, if you encourage them to define what ‘happyness’ means to them!

The last and the most important color…

The ‘Keep Looking For’ Color

Some of the children are gifted -in academics, sports, or art. For them, it is clear what they want to do in life. But for others, it is important for the parents to help the children try ‘new’ colors, until they find the one that suits them the best. It is alright to make mistakes. Not all colors will suit everyone after all. Keep looking and keep enjoying the process.

So, while you pick up the brush to paint your child’s canvas do not forget to give a few strokes to your own lives. Remember, we have to lead by example! It is impossible to expect our children to be colored unless we ourselves are colorful. Parents after all are the ones who start coloring the life canvas of their children and then pass on the paint brushes to the child. So, take an oath mommies and daddys’ :

“I, [your name], pledge to add strokes to my own canvas before I stand up as an artist for my child.”

– [Sign]

Ah! What better occasion to start coloring than the festival of colors itself!

Happy Holi Everyone!

They’ll Do What You Do, Not What You Tell Them To Do!

“Is this magic?”, I am left wondering nowadays.

As a parent, I always wished that Tanav, my 7 year old son, reads more and expresses himself better. Perhaps, I would have told him too several times in the past but that counseling hadn’t helped one bit.

And today, Tanav, is sitting next to me and writing his journal! It is about 10 PM and he has been following this daily nightly ritual since last 7 days!

It’s such a wonder to see this little guy, who was in my lap till not so long ago, write his mind!

Curiosity could have killed me so I sought his permission to read his diary and thankfully I was granted that (..well so far so good).

He has a section called Thank You For, where he is writing about what he is grateful for – for giving us this life, the house, food..

Another section called I Want To, where he writes about what he wants to do today, tomorrow and in life. Some of his words are eye-openers, like when he wrote, I want to be a Science Teacher!

There is another section called Doing,where he writes about what he and others in the family are doing. Papa is writing, Mom is sleeping..

There are also, of course, a lot of his random thoughts on the pages.

He is also reading a lot these days.

Gerenimo Stilton’s The Phoenix of Destiny. It’s not an easy book to read, not for him. But last Sunday, he was sitting on his desk for over an hour reading.

I am not sure how much he is absorbing, but that doesn’t matter at the moment. I am so glad that he is enjoying reading and that too independently! This would have been a far cry till a few months back.

It’s more surprising that Tanav is continuing to do the above despite the fact that my nieces, his cousins, are here. He still takes out the time to read and write from his busy play schedule!

Now, you must be wondering how this change happened?

Answer is pretty simple but yet, we parents keep forgetting it.

Tanav does so because he is observing what his Mum and Dad do. The sections in his diary look familiar to me because my journal also has sections for Gratitude, Random Notes, What I want to do.

They'll Do What You Do — Tanav and Me ‘Cleaning’ after a Rain storm

I read quite a bit and write daily. Deepti, my wife, does so too.

The point I want to put across in today’s post is that: Those small eyes and ears are observing you in what you do. They are learning from you.

They will do what you do, not what you ask them to do!

Question: How has your experience been in inculcating a new habit in your child? Share your thoughts below.

If you like this post, then show the love by sharing it with friends and family. The best part of writing a blog is the discussion that follows, so do register your thoughts and views below.

Why Being a Good Dad is Not Good Enough!

“There are two fathers and two sons, how many people are there?“, shouted Tanav, my eight years old son, to overcome the volume of TV news.

Dad and I were watching TV, holding our glasses of Whiskey, as he said that.

We both looked at Tanav, our attention going away from the evening news.

We looked at each other, our eyes made a mental agreement to not steal Tanav’s thunder. Then we looked back at Tanav and said, both at the same time, “Four?“

Tanav bounced back, “It’s three. Count the people in this room, there are two fathers, Grandpa and Papa, and two sons, Papa and me. How many are in the room? Three, right?”

“Oh yes”, I said. “Didn’t strike us at all.”

Why Being a Good Dad is Not Good Enough — Two Fathers and Two Sons

As Tanav danced out of the room, there was silence in the room. TV had been switched off now. The silence was asking us to speak with each other!

“Now that you are a Dad yourself, would you bring up your children any differently than how I brought you up?”, Dad asked me sounding proud of himself.

I took a larger sip of my drink, let an ice cube enter my mouth, bit it, chewed it and then said, “Nothing at all Dad! You did very well as a father and I will do the exact same as a Dad myself.”

His question had come suddenly and besides, I didn’t want him to feel bad. I did think, after all, that he’d done fine as a Dad in my growing up years. In fact, I had always thought of him as my Hero!

But his question stayed with me after our conversation ended. Perhaps because in the subconscious, I did think there were certain things he could have done differently. However, it was not clear what and I didn’t want to delve deeper into it since it was past.

That night, I had a dream.

I saw the growing up child I once was, speaking about what all he expected from his father. I tried to look closer to infer the age of the child in the dream. He was smiling at me and I realized that his age was the age where all my growing up years converged!

He looked seven at one point and looked fifteen at another. He looked at me in the eye and said, “I am here to teach you The Great Dads ABCs or as you might understand better The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Dads”:

THE GREAT DAD’s ABCs:

A: Accept me for who I am– Clearly, I am different from whom you expect me to be. I am not merely an extension of you!. I am not as strong, or as clear as you. Please accept me for who I am. If you do, it would tell me the person who I trust the most accepts me for who I am. Once I know that Dad, I can conquer the world!
B: Believe in me – Don’t quash my dreams before they take wings. Don’t cut me off when I tell you something. Listen more and talk less. That, Dad, would boost my confidence to a totally different level.
C: Care for me – I am not a task to be checked off. You pick me up from school but please don’t keep me waiting those endless hours when you try to get your other work done on the way – mixer repair, business purchases or visits to stockbrokers. And, if you really have to, please ask me how I felt while I was waiting – Did I feel hungry or thirsty or under the weather or did I miss my favorite TV program. It would make a world of difference if you ask.

D: Let me Decide– Don’t stop me from seeing Grandpa or Aunt just because you had some temporary discords with them. Don’t decide for me that I don’t need those books to read. That may save you money but you’d not win my heart. Don’t say, “Have you finished reading the previous one yet?” It will make me a far superior decision maker when I grow up if I am allowed to start making these small decisions as I am growing up.
E: Don’t take the Easy way – I want to know more from you about those taboo topics – what it was all about – sex, drugs, smoking, and boozing. You are someone I trust and look up to. I won’t understand all that by you taking the easy way of not talking about it. My curiosity will push me to seek out and learn from the school of hard knocks – talking to friends or looking up those CD or trying out what it feels like to have a puff.
F: Be more Fun – Please take out the time so we can have more fun together, more 1:1 time, more outings! I want to play more table tennis which I know you love to play too but you never have the time. I have the fondest memories of the one or two times we played Carrom together. But, we don’t do that enough. I wish we do
G : Be Good – Don’t just be good with me, but with everyone, especially the person who means the world to me, my Mom! I wish you don’t quarrel so much with Mom. I try to stop you but you don’t listen. Please do. Don’t consider me too small, and ignore me. Please don’t say, “Now you are going to teach me how to behave?”

“Despite all that, I love you, Dad”, he said.

“I always have and I always will. You are and will be my Hero always. But this, Dad, would make you my Super Hero Dad.”

This dream was full of learning for me. When I woke up the next morning, I jotted this down and decided to use this as a checklist in my current role as Dad.

So, all the Good Dads, what else would you add to this checklist to become Great Dads?

If you like this post, then show the love by sharing it with friends and family. The best part of writing a blog is the discussion that follows, so do register your thoughts and views below.

Do You Shame Or Do You Love?

THE EVERYDAY SHAMING

“I practiced your surnames spellings’ in free time.”, the guard at the office reception said to me smilingly.

I go to this office reception everyday to get my visitor card made. That’s how the work arrangement is for me, I have to get visitor access daily to get in. Have been doing that for over six months now.

This guard, who sits next to the pretty receptionist, is supposed to enter my last name in to the computer which then pulls up my details needed to print the visitor pass.

Now, this guy is not comfortable using the keyboard, not good in English language and not even computer savvy. No wonder he’s terribly slow and unsure. But the pretty lady next to him doesn’t consider that as an excuse and misses no opportunity to scold him gravely for his slowness.

One more thing that makes the guard struggle is the spellings of my last name – SAWHNEY, which are a bit non-intuitive for any one.

Receptionist’s repeated under the belt attacks would have caused enough humiliation to the poor guy who is anyway not well read. So much so that he actually took out the time to practice the spellings of my last name and finally remembered it today.

For the first time, he seemed to have a sense of confidence and pride! I felt like he had been waiting for me to come today to get the visitor card. And it gave him a reason to be happy about himself.

I was touched – How much did this thing which is of no relevance to anyone else mean to this guy! I was glad that I was the cause of his smirk and tinkle today.

It proves the point that each one of us which ever level we might be at, long for a feeling of self-worth and respect.

That is a non-negotiable. We try to get it back if we see our self-respect being taken away. If we do get it back, we get a reason to keep going and if we don’t we fall into a trap. One of feeling inferior and on the receiving end. Being the butt of jokes! We try to act defensive and it shows. Over the time, this leads to serious depression or anxiety issues.

MY PRAYER

I pray that I don’t give anyone a feeling of lack of self worth. I pray that others keep this in mind while dealing with people.

One does have to give feedback but I pray that we are considerate. Let’s not become focused on the individual’s inabilities, let’s focus instead on what is the improvement needed and help people genuinely.

I pray I do my best work but when I fail to meet other’s expectations, they too are considerate with me.

People will not change just because I want them to. I will get into situations when I will be insulted, made fun of or even be yelled at. I pray that I stay strong and in peace in such turbulent times.

I pray that I don’t consider paying them back in the same coin.

I pray that my peace conveys the message to the other person that they are the one who are in the wrong. That it’s their problem and not mine.

I pray that I worry only about what I can improve on and don’t blame myself more than that. I pray that I respect myself and that I’m able to move on.

I pray that I am able to come back stronger each time, and don’t kill myself over what I cannot do.

I pray that I never undervalue my self worth. No matter what. That I am at peace in any circumstance. For the sake of my God, myself, my family and my work.

Amen.

SO, SHAME OR LOVE?

You can either shame someone or love someone.

You can either make the world slightly better or slightly worse.

Every moment.

What would you choose: Shame or Love?”

If you like this post, then show the love by sharing it with friends and family. The best part of writing a blog is the discussion that follows, so do register your thoughts and views below.

Change Your Password Now!

Last Year was perhaps the worst year of my life. I went through a dark long patch of depression, followed by misunderstandings that strained relations with a loved one.

I felt betrayed and disillusioned. Whatever I was doing suddenly seemed so meaningless! I thought I was finished.

Thankfully things got better by the end of the year but I knew I had to do something to keep things on the path of recovery. We ourselves are responsible to a great extent for many problems in our life. Therefore, I had to mend my ways to make things alright and prepare for future.

After some reflection about what I was doing wrongly, I concluded that:

1. I was not being true with anyone. Not even with my own self!

2. I was negative and missing the “moments”.

3. I felt like a failure in life, no confidence left to reach for any new goals.

But what could I do? I had got stuck in a loop of guilt, doubts and fears. To make it worse, there was a pressure which made it even more difficult to get out of this trap – “What example am I setting for my children?“

How would I tell them to perform well at school and in life when I myself was feeling weak in my knees.

That’s when Dinky, my wife told me about THE SECRET.

“Think of WHAT you want to achieve, without worrying about the HOW. Invisible forces would make you achieve your desires.”

What did I want to achieve, I thought. Following popped-up in my head:

1. Resolve my fight with myself about who I am, who I pose to be and who others think I am. This is what Robin Sharma calls “The Integrity Gap“. Kill my Integrity Gap. Make it Zero (0)!

2. Stop running the rat race and savor the present, “the now“.

3. Have a higher self esteem and be in control. I was running negative on that, and it was just crushing me. I had to fall in love with myself, again.

Now that I knew I had to do these, would it work on its own? No! I had to remember these goals for them to settle in my head. And how would I do that?

I was looking blankly at my laptop screen, while thinking what do I do to achieve these little roadblocks just big enough to create a mess in my life. Suddenly the following dialog box popped up:

This pop-up gave birth to an idea in my mind. I changed my password to IntegrityGap@0.

From then onward, every time I unlocked my computer (which is dozens of times daily) using my new password, it was like a subliminal brainwash. Next 90 days allowed me to remove a lot of unspoken baggage I was carrying since many years! It made me a better person, one who was more at peace with himself. True to himself!

I couldn’t wait to change my next password. Changing passwords for security used to be mundane and irritating affair but now it had become a life changing ritual.

My next password was CelebrateLife@100%. 90 days focused on celebrating and being grateful for the moments God was blessing me with. Not thinking too much about the past and neither the present, just living in the moment. 90 days is good enough time to etch these ideas in ones brain.

Some say it takes 66, others say 21 days to form a new habit. Be on the safe side and go for 90 days which is the limit most organizations have before you must change your password.

While this helped, my low self esteem was still coming in my way to live life fully. That feeling that I was not good enough and the fear that someone would soon find out, was killing me.

My next password is, therefore, IAmTheBest#1 .

Like Magic, a few testimonials followed within the next few months. I became a certified interviewer at work, cleared a work interview to move into what I always wanted to do: Program Management et al.

Oops! Did I just share my current password with you?

Never mind, because 90 days come to an end today and it’s time for the quarterly ceremony to change my password again. You too are invited!

If you like this post, then show the love by sharing it with friends and family. The best part of writing a blog is the discussion that follows, so do register your thoughts and views below.

What’s on Top of Your Mind?

Daddy, I have a surprise for you!”

Tanav, my 6 year old son, shouted from inside the living room, as Champa, our helper was opening the door for me. It was about 6 o’clock in the evening and Deepti and I were just back from work.

“I cant imagine how happy you’d be when you know what it is!”, He said.

I was more happy to realize that my little son is now grown up enough to give me surprises! It just fills your heart, you know!

He ran to his toy room and came back with his hands wrapped around something just enough to tantalize me.

“What is it, Tanav?”, I asked curiously.

He unwrapped his little hands from around it and what I saw really amazed me.

It was my lost and now found pen!

“What’s so special about a pen?”, is what you are thinking, right?

Well, nothing, except when it is my pen. I have several and love each one. Each one has part of my life in it. If I lose one, it hurts. No, it bleeds!

Ask a writer what his pen means to him.

You may still be trying to come to terms with my unique obsession, but my little boy, Tanav knows it very well. To tell you a little secret, and to warn you: I have kleptomaniacal tendencies when it comes to any stationary items!

“Wooow!”, I said.

Nothing could have been a better surprise for me. Not at this time, for sure!

This was an expensive pen which I had gifted myself a few months back. It was lost a few days back at Mussourie, where we’d been on a vacation.

Perhaps the room cleaners misplaced it, or stole it. That couldn’t be true though. Why would any one want to steal a pen? Not unless they really intended to play with my emotions.

Heartbroken, I had written it off. Collateral damage! But the images of it had kept coming back even to this day.

And now, it was in front of me! Like a dream come true.

Tanav had found it in his pouch while he was playing with Sohana, his 2 year old sister.

My little son knew what’s my top of mind.

Do you know what is at the top of your wife’s mind, your son’s, your daughter’s?

I bet you don’t. Because our minds are usually preoccupied with useless thoughts, such as:

..the bad bad world.
..what will they think?
..he/ she (sometimes even the spouse!) is trying to walk away with all the credit!
..the weather!
..death and what happens after?

Do these thoughts help you or your family in any way?

While we are focusing on fear, worry, or hate, it is not possible for us to be experiencing happiness, enthusiasm or love.

If you’re still thinking what is your loved one’s top of mind, let me just say,

he that seeketh, findeth!

My wife’s top concern is the WIFI on her MotoX phone which hasn’t been working. It’s been over 2 months. I have been coolly ignoring it. It’s not my problem, after all!

But the smile it would bring to her face if I do get it fixed would be worth the effort. This week. Or a new phone.

Be present. Know the top of mind of your loved ones. And be intentional about doing what you can once you know it.

Your little effort may give them the wings to fly or at least get them an inch closer to their dreams. You never know!

Learn from your kids. If my 6 year old son can, what’s wrong with you and me?

If you like this post, then show the love by sharing your thoughts below.

What’s The Best Thing That Happened Today?

A Day in My Life

As I entered the living room, I felt drained of energy. Only so much of it left to leave my body for a free fall on the couch. I was just back from work, and the clock was showing 7:30 PM.

Then something changed, an adrenaline rushed through me – as my seven year old son, Tanav, came towards me full of excitement. “It must be because I was home after a long day’s work and he’d been waiting to see me”, I thought.

I couldn’t be more wrong!

He had been waiting for me, but not to see me. He was waiting to have my phone so that he could play on it.

As I handed my iPhone to Tanav, my energy levels plummeted again, to levels lower than before.

Tanav started playing Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. The name says it all – this game to which Tanav is hooked, is full of violence, blood and profanities.

However, I was left with no energy to stop him. Besides, he was left with no reason to talk to or listen to me any more, after having my phone.

Years ago, Subhash Chandra Bose had asked the country’s youth, “Tum Mujhe Khoon Do, Mein Tumhe Aazadi Doonga!” (You give me blood, and I promise you freedom).

It’s payback time now I guess. Our next generation is asking us now in a slightly different way, “Tum Mujhe Phone Do, Mein Tumhe Aazadi Doonga!” (You give me your phone, and I promise you freedom.)

So, I traded my phone for some rest. Deepti, my wife, looked tired too – working at home and managing the house ain’t easy.

As Deepti handed me a cup of tea, I wondered: “Can
this situation be made better somehow?”

FAMILY RITUALS

A wise man has said – “Our days are your life in miniature.”

If that is true, looking at my days tells me there is something terribly wrong in my life. If I let this pattern go on, things will soon go out of control. I will lose a much needed connect with my children. I do need to get into action now to do something about it.

I realized something while trying to steer my way thought this messy situation. We had been very clear in telling children what not to do:

[bctt tweet="Don’t play with the phone. Don’t watch so much TV. Don’t fight. Don’t do this and don’t do that…”]

What we didn’t even know is what should they be doing! And we hadn’t taken the time to figure out. Kids often asked this question, “What should I do now?” I didn’t once have a convincing answer for them.

That’s when I figured that there was one thing all families which bonded well did: Family rituals.

Some fun family rituals, could make our days more fulfilling. Each family member would look forward to this time together. It would even provide a safe environment for family members to share their innermost feelings. And yes, it doesn’t require all the time in the world and so busy working parents could do it too! All one needs is intention.

Recurring things such as: Prayer time, a morning hug, a chat before meals, or even having the dinner together, would all qualify as family rituals.

We’ve started a ritual before dinner time where each member is asked – “What is the best thing that happened today?“

But was it easy?

Hell, No!

Just to bring everybody together at dinner time was an uphill task. It’s only after a lot of perseverance that our family finally embraced it. No one was interested the first time I asked.

Tanav’s response was, “There is nothing good that happened today, Dad! In fact everything was so bad that I can’t remember anything good.”

I tried rephrasing the question, “.. and among all the bad things today, what was the one ‘not-so-bad’ thing?”

But it didn’t help either, “Stop irritating Dad. Can we talk about something else?”

When I asked Mom, she bounced back as if I was ridiculing her life situation. “Nothing good happens in my life at all. Everything is so bad that I don’t want to talk about it, please!”

It’s not easy to start a new family ritual, but it’s so worth it at the end.

THE BEST THING TODAY

Change is hard. But we kept going. Imperfect progress, as Lysa Terkeust calls it.

Yesterday, Sohana, my 3 year old daughter, asked Deepti, “Papa hasn’t asked the, ‘Best Thing Today!'”

Deepti said, “Yes, he hasn’t. Let’s ask Papa and do that now?”

Mom also joined in, “Yes, of course, let’s do that!”

Tanav ordered, “Let’s start from grown-ups today!”

Dad, who is mostly engrossed in NEWS at the time, was okay to switch off the TV. No mean feat that is!

Everyone happily shared a part of their days with everyone else. There were chuckles and laughs which will remain in our memories forever.

It takes away the stress from our minds each time we do this little ritual. It gives us a reason to switch off the idiot box. It lets our minds to focus on what’s working in our lives and being grateful for it rather than the usual my life sucks syndrome.

Most importantly, it drives us towards a stronger family bond, which means the world to all of us!

So, now I want to hear from you. What are your family rituals? If you liked this post, then show the love by sharing your comments and likes below.